A full majority of online comments fall into two categories: “Fake!” or “Gay!” Let’s examine this further. If you really think about it, there’s a discrete difference if it’s one, the other, or both at the same time. Say you’re male on a computer… Read more…
Sprinting grey rabbits, hopping field mice, lithe foxes, horned owls, singing cardinals, swooping bluejays, button mushrooms after lightening storms, wild cats, croaking frogs, whizzing grasshoppers, rhythmed crickets, green-carpet tree moss after floods, creek minnows, digging crayfish, sticky newts, horned toads,… Read more…
If only the giant space-beings, soaring through time and swallowing galaxies whole with gaping jaws, with planets swirling in their bellies, could see in their roiling guts the timeless creatures fed through the tidal whirlpools and sluicing veins of their… Read more…
I’ve recently convinced myself that Japanese and Arabic share a relation. While the two cultures are geographically far-flung, the semantic meanings in Arabic of the Japanese words for counting are difficult to ignore, and interesting to explore. Below is a… Read more…
Dancing with the moon beneath the pale of darkness, I trade a song for a jaunt, as she sways to follow me. I turn my back to her, taking a few unsteady steps, and feel only satisfaction, knowing she will never… Read more…
In a modern society, controlling the voice and content of information and dialogue is often seen by power-brokers as a vital component of their plans to maintain control over the rest of the world. How does one go about achieving this?… Read more…
Papaya Curry prepared in a wok with a variety of ingredients. Contents include grilled papaya strips, rough-cut tomatoes, soba soup stock, mushroom creme, coconut milk, side-cut carrots, cubed potatoes, mushroom slices, whole cashews, chili powder, black, red & white peppercorns,… Read more…
I have no idea why this is here… It’s a picture I’ve drawn of an anthropomorphic cell jamming to disco and eating an ice cream cone. I would totally hang out with this bacterium, if it weren’t for the likelihood… Read more…
Background: In the year 2167, the last vestiges of humanity fight to survive on Earth. After centuries of designing, building and perfecting machines for every purpose imaginable, they now cover the surface of every continent in an intricately designed, rugged, plated-electronic… Read more…
Preface: This is a short story in the form of a syntactic hieroglyph about birth, coming-of-age, love, and progeny. The story is told through syntactic operations performed with brackets upon 3-element creatures. . .. … …. ….. …. .. . A… Read more…
Let’s assume for the moment that the operator “[ A B C D …] > [ I J K L … ]” indicates the use of a veiled existential threat by the set [ A B C D … ], composed… Read more…
If someone were to harvest all of the resource from a field, I expect they would begin consuming stock at a place far away from their commanding area while moving towards it, to make it easier to transport the gathered… Read more…
My cats’ colorations are indicative of thier diet and condition. What hunts them, what they hunt, and what they both attract and repel. Saffron is red like the mudclay desert. Fed on whatever scorpions and lizards and roaches and creatures… Read more…
Ay, a fresh face and a gleaming heart, a marbled cheek, and a winding start! A pickled eye, on mirror’s stare, and creeping teeth, filled up with hair. With gremlins mowing from the back, and words of brutal twirling crack;… Read more…
Music is not an alien concept to most people, but most people can’t explain why the theme from Canon in D is so fundamental to modern popular music. The theme seems to appear everywhere. Strangely, the fixation doesn’t seem like… Read more…
What is a gun? I define it as a handheld, metallic, bored, bullet-projecting device constructed for the pupose of maiming and killing living things. By that definition, is a gun a gun without bullets? The answer is no, as its… Read more…
$300 is 30,000 pennies. That’s a lot of currency conductivity. Probably not a good idea to ask for your paycheck from the bank in pennies. When I die, a long time from now, and, hopefully, from natural causes, I don’t… Read more…
I hesitate in suggesting a name for the planet beyond Pluto, the loping hound of war. Must it be called Cronos? Imagining culture: Gorgonzola cheese, armored bulls in battle, fast, whip-like men, black clouds and bearded Zeuses and Poseidons aplenty,… Read more…
Marry Mary? Quite contrary! Her fleeces: white as snow!
Can you write an infinitely descriptive language using only the number one? The answer is 1. 11, I don’t want to try it. Did you think I was saying 1? 11, I meant 11. Oh, 111 it.
Young-for-his-grade senior physcisist with high school sweetheart at fair: [Distracted by jewelry stand while talking about course credits] Let me buy you this ring [+silvered, + celtic]. Old-for-her-grade freshman student: Damn, How much credit do you have? Senior physicist: All… Read more…
Proposing a spelling and pronunciation destinctivization between ecoli and ecological, so people don’t obsess over doodoo, which harbors ecoli in bulk, when worrying about the environment. Yes, we know the bacteria is colonial in nature. No we don’t want to be… Read more…
The doctors are sicker than the patients in the filthiest hospital clinics. The soldiers are weaker than the average citizen welfare recipient. The food on the street scavenged from dying mother nature is healthier than the omnipresent store-bought sachets. The… Read more…
An excerpt from the early revisional days of the English language: Prepositions? You want 50 of them? We’d better stop while we’re behind; my cousin just turned 18.
The sid sat before has IBM thinking machine after installing his games upon it. “Hmmm,” thought the computer, out loud, “give me something less than ideal to think about…” Said the man, “Computers are for porn and video games. You’re obviously… Read more…
Once, fear and violence and pleasure were used to control populations. Loneliness is a far stronger control mechanism. Without other people, our lives are meaningless. Social bonds are all we have to rely on in times of hardship and loss…. Read more…
A man and a woman sit upon the shore. They love one another so deeply, and finding no such love anywhere else, they decide, in that place, to stay together, with grains of sand washing away beneath them. The stars twinkle overhead, appearing… Read more…
In the beginning… Some people say Money is Power. Everybody says Time is Money, but Math is Money, too, baby. There are even some people who say E equals m c squared, a relation between the energy in a given… Read more…
[sin] [cos] [tan] [cot] [sec] [csc] Sin with sin-alike. Alongside one another and together. Separate, and, side by side, complete. [sin]/[cos]=[tan] inv([tan])=[cot] inv([cos])=[sec] inv([sin])=[csc] Apart from one another, together. Not alongside one another, reversed in bearing. Without like-sin, forever bounded. Without sin,… Read more…
Human life essentially approximates that of a humiliated monkey trying to cover their own ass and run from a wild cougar, while simultaneously being browbeaten by their mother and ignored by their father, as their potential mate is watching, all the while trying to scrape… Read more…
Cyrus laid the parts upon the table before him. Amongst them were slick, angular shapes, rounded, gleaming pipes, and fans that gyrated seductively when pushed. The table’s surface rattled as the pieces were set down, from the tiny thumbscrews to the parts they… Read more…
“GIVE ME YOUR COOKIES” Cookie monster stopped by my house today and started using my computer. He thought he was in a café/bakery and went bananas, just flailing his arms and shouting at the computer. Here’s a description of… Read more…
If (If (-x) then loss) then (complement(-x) = gain), when you hold gains as a constraint, sometimes. Remember, even if you don’t see eye to eye with the messages in your media, you can usually fill in the blanks with your own positive ideas… Read more…
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The most inadvertently sexy math problem in existence, if I may say so myself. [link removed](Don’t worry, it wasn’t explicit, just low-quality). If you’re… Read more…
If people aren’t supposed to use homosexual slurs, they also shouldn’t use heterosexual ones. How then do we denounce people for wasting too much time on sex, which is, in itself, a taboo topic worthy of discussion and balance of opinion?… Read more…
The only way to escape the current high prices and spiraling unemployment caused by increased population is for businesses to hire above their expected needs for labor, allowing more liquid assets to be distributed into the local environment to counteract… Read more…
Requesting advice on dealing with the inability to differentiate between a state, a State, a country, a Country, a Nation, a National, a person, a Person, people, a People, culture, and a Culture. There’s a difference between “800 miles across, both ways,… Read more…
Sometimes people who are cruel to small animals are accused of being psychopaths. What do you call the person who abuses radishes?
I have recently been exploring line drawings of discrete factorial layered networks with limitless applications, and some exciting corollaries. The basic concept involves drawing vertices on a piece of paper and connecting them with line segments in such a way that… Read more…
The bartender says, “We don’t serve tachyons here.” A tachyon walks into a bar. Physicists have discovered either how to accelerate time in the environment as it relates to an observer, or pull information in from relativistically future-initial sources, as… Read more…
Ctrl + F > “sin” > Replace with > “turn on.” ∴ Transgressions against God are a turn on. Unfortunately, turn on(90) = 1.
If a person was cut into little pieces, could the person then collect multiple disability checks? Say, for example, I got cut in half and both halves survived thanks to resuscitation. Would I get two payouts, one for each half?… Read more…
What are the numbers for the monthly Cheeto harvest? Have we run out of styrofoam waste product yet? If we’re low on powdered cheese it’s not the end of the world. Just send out the nanobots to harvest it from… Read more…
Infixing is the term for the insertion of semantic morphemes within words, with, “Fanfuckingtastic,” “Absofuckinglutely,” and, “Unfuckingbelievable,” being three of the only instances of this rare phenomenon that have been documented in the English language. When dealing with multiple versions of a story, as being related… Read more…
Which is harder to deal with? “Doesn’t look like it’s you, but it’s you.” “Looks like it’s you, but it isn’t you.”
In his dialogue with Laches, Socrates attempts to overcome a pedagogical dillema. He is asked by a friend to train a student in the finer points of virtue. But can someone really teach another person to be virtuous? Socrates makes… Read more…
Using necessity and universality to explain the physical world can be problematic. Universality is founded on an individual’s experiences over multiple instances. For example, a naturalist may observe a colony of squirrels on multiple occasions. Each time the squirrels are… Read more…
In this post, I will be making the claim that all numbers are rational. Please excuse the math, and try to follow along if you can. Without further ado, let us examine this idea further. 1 is rational. .5 is… Read more…
What if Newton’s Laws of Motion are sociologically derived arguments and not physical ones? Throw away all arguments of initial causes or creators; God wasn’t invited to this party. Each of the Newtonian laws is directly relatable to interpersonal interactions. As people, we often rely on what we deal… Read more…
If 90% of the internet went unhosted, or was replaced by dreck, would anyone notice? Just as you would never feel for thirst if faced with the loss of half an ocean of freshwater, the internet is so big that… Read more…