After surgically installing a mobile, wireless computer in my cat (in case he gets lost), I received the following text message through my Facebook app: 01101101011001010110111101110111
Archive for Text
Thanks, I’ll Pass… Hey! Let Go of My Arm!
Pictured below are two quick-and-dirty lists detailing point and counterpoint of good business practice vs. bad business practice. Feel free to use them to inform your decisions on what companies to do business with. Be sure to report any business with questionable practices… Read more…
Gender Bender
A full majority of online comments fall into two categories: “Fake!” or “Gay!” Let’s examine this further. If you really think about it, there’s a discrete difference if it’s one, the other, or both at the same time. Say you’re male on a computer… Read more…
Friends of Yore
Sprinting grey rabbits, hopping field mice, lithe foxes, horned owls, singing cardinals, swooping bluejays, button mushrooms after lightening storms, wild cats, croaking frogs, whizzing grasshoppers, rhythmed crickets, green-carpet tree moss after floods, creek minnows, digging crayfish, sticky newts, horned toads,… Read more…
Megafauna
If only the giant space-beings, soaring through time and swallowing galaxies whole with gaping jaws, with planets swirling in their bellies, could see in their roiling guts the timeless creatures fed through the tidal whirlpools and sluicing veins of their… Read more…
Sino-Semetic
I’ve recently convinced myself that Japanese and Arabic share a relation. While the two cultures are geographically far-flung, the semantic meanings in Arabic of the Japanese words for counting are difficult to ignore, and interesting to explore. Below is a… Read more…
The Moon is a Beautiful Mistress
Dancing with the moon beneath the pale of darkness, I trade a song for a jaunt, as she sways to follow me. I turn my back to her, taking a few unsteady steps, and feel only satisfaction, knowing she will never… Read more…
Fall Fascisms
In a modern society, controlling the voice and content of information and dialogue is often seen by power-brokers as a vital component of their plans to maintain control over the rest of the world. How does one go about achieving this?… Read more…
…And Now for Something Eggs-plicitly Different
Papaya Curry prepared in a wok with a variety of ingredients. Contents include grilled papaya strips, rough-cut tomatoes, soba soup stock, mushroom creme, coconut milk, side-cut carrots, cubed potatoes, mushroom slices, whole cashews, chili powder, black, red & white peppercorns,… Read more…
Ladies and Germs
I have no idea why this is here… It’s a picture I’ve drawn of an anthropomorphic cell jamming to disco and eating an ice cream cone. I would totally hang out with this bacterium, if it weren’t for the likelihood… Read more…
The World that Turned to Machine
Background: In the year 2167, the last vestiges of humanity fight to survive on Earth. After centuries of designing, building and perfecting machines for every purpose imaginable, they now cover the surface of every continent in an intricately designed, rugged, plated-electronic… Read more…
21st Century Hieroglyph
Preface: This is a short story in the form of a syntactic hieroglyph about birth, coming-of-age, love, and progeny. The story is told through syntactic operations performed with brackets upon 3-element creatures. . .. … …. ….. …. .. . A… Read more…
Hello, Operator?
Let’s assume for the moment that the operator “[ A B C D …] > [ I J K L … ]” indicates the use of a veiled existential threat by the set [ A B C D … ], composed… Read more…
Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble
If someone were to harvest all of the resource from a field, I expect they would begin consuming stock at a place far away from their commanding area while moving towards it, to make it easier to transport the gathered… Read more…
I Hunt at Night
My cats’ colorations are indicative of thier diet and condition. What hunts them, what they hunt, and what they both attract and repel. Saffron is red like the mudclay desert. Fed on whatever scorpions and lizards and roaches and creatures… Read more…
A Close Shave
Ay, a fresh face and a gleaming heart, a marbled cheek, and a winding start! A pickled eye, on mirror’s stare, and creeping teeth, filled up with hair. With gremlins mowing from the back, and words of brutal twirling crack;… Read more…
All Too Familiar
Music is not an alien concept to most people, but most people can’t explain why the theme from Canon in D is so fundamental to modern popular music. The theme seems to appear everywhere. Strangely, the fixation doesn’t seem like… Read more…
The Highest Sky Pie
What is a gun? I define it as a handheld, metallic, bored, bullet-projecting device constructed for the pupose of maiming and killing living things. By that definition, is a gun a gun without bullets? The answer is no, as its… Read more…
Cu
$300 is 30,000 pennies. That’s a lot of currency conductivity. Probably not a good idea to ask for your paycheck from the bank in pennies. When I die, a long time from now, and, hopefully, from natural causes, I don’t… Read more…
Planetbuilding: Cronos
I hesitate in suggesting a name for the planet beyond Pluto, the loping hound of war. Must it be called Cronos? Imagining culture: Gorgonzola cheese, armored bulls in battle, fast, whip-like men, black clouds and bearded Zeuses and Poseidons aplenty,… Read more…
Sheepish Wordplay
Marry Mary? Quite contrary! Her fleeces: white as snow!
Fine, We Will Do it the Hard Way
Can you write an infinitely descriptive language using only the number one? The answer is 1. 11, I don’t want to try it. Did you think I was saying 1? 11, I meant 11. Oh, 111 it.
I Didn’t Know You Were A Smelter
Young-for-his-grade senior physcisist with high school sweetheart at fair: [Distracted by jewelry stand while talking about course credits] Let me buy you this ring [+silvered, + celtic]. Old-for-her-grade freshman student: Damn, How much credit do you have? Senior physicist: All… Read more…
Here I Sit, So Broken-Hearted…
Proposing a spelling and pronunciation destinctivization between ecoli and ecological, so people don’t obsess over doodoo, which harbors ecoli in bulk, when worrying about the environment. Yes, we know the bacteria is colonial in nature. No we don’t want to be… Read more…
Pissing and Moaning
The doctors are sicker than the patients in the filthiest hospital clinics. The soldiers are weaker than the average citizen welfare recipient. The food on the street scavenged from dying mother nature is healthier than the omnipresent store-bought sachets. The… Read more…
Better Things to Do
An excerpt from the early revisional days of the English language: Prepositions? You want 50 of them? We’d better stop while we’re behind; my cousin just turned 18.
Modern Sutra
The sid sat before has IBM thinking machine after installing his games upon it. “Hmmm,” thought the computer, out loud, “give me something less than ideal to think about…” Said the man, “Computers are for porn and video games. You’re obviously… Read more…
Depressant of the Masses
Once, fear and violence and pleasure were used to control populations. Loneliness is a far stronger control mechanism. Without other people, our lives are meaningless. Social bonds are all we have to rely on in times of hardship and loss…. Read more…
The Squid and the Whale
A man and a woman sit upon the shore. They love one another so deeply, and finding no such love anywhere else, they decide, in that place, to stay together, with grains of sand washing away beneath them. The stars twinkle overhead, appearing… Read more…
Screenplay: Absolute Value
In the beginning… Some people say Money is Power. Everybody says Time is Money, but Math is Money, too, baby. There are even some people who say E equals m c squared, a relation between the energy in a given… Read more…
Moody Trigonometry
[sin] [cos] [tan] [cot] [sec] [csc] Sin with sin-alike. Alongside one another and together. Separate, and, side by side, complete. [sin]/[cos]=[tan] inv([tan])=[cot] inv([cos])=[sec] inv([sin])=[csc] Apart from one another, together. Not alongside one another, reversed in bearing. Without like-sin, forever bounded. Without sin,… Read more…
Finally, An Answer
Human life essentially approximates that of a humiliated monkey trying to cover their own ass and run from a wild cougar, while simultaneously being browbeaten by their mother and ignored by their father, as their potential mate is watching, all the while trying to scrape… Read more…
Future Forward
Cyrus laid the parts upon the table before him. Amongst them were slick, angular shapes, rounded, gleaming pipes, and fans that gyrated seductively when pushed. The table’s surface rattled as the pieces were set down, from the tiny thumbscrews to the parts they… Read more…
Hard-up, Creeped-out Cookie Monster.
“GIVE ME YOUR COOKIES” Cookie monster stopped by my house today and started using my computer. He thought he was in a café/bakery and went bananas, just flailing his arms and shouting at the computer. Here’s a description of… Read more…
Splitting the Difference
If (If (-x) then loss) then (complement(-x) = gain), when you hold gains as a constraint, sometimes. Remember, even if you don’t see eye to eye with the messages in your media, you can usually fill in the blanks with your own positive ideas… Read more…
Biosymmetrical Mathematical Evolution of Forms, with Incidental Applications
![189079_553855716620_2137_n[1]](https://www.renaissancemusings.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/189079_553855716620_2137_n1.jpg)
The most inadvertently sexy math problem in existence, if I may say so myself. [link removed](Don’t worry, it wasn’t explicit, just low-quality). If you’re… Read more…
…And One More Thing!
If people aren’t supposed to use homosexual slurs, they also shouldn’t use heterosexual ones. How then do we denounce people for wasting too much time on sex, which is, in itself, a taboo topic worthy of discussion and balance of opinion?… Read more…
Neighborhood Stimulus
The only way to escape the current high prices and spiraling unemployment caused by increased population is for businesses to hire above their expected needs for labor, allowing more liquid assets to be distributed into the local environment to counteract… Read more…
Patriotic Pedantry
Requesting advice on dealing with the inability to differentiate between a state, a State, a country, a Country, a Nation, a National, a person, a Person, people, a People, culture, and a Culture. There’s a difference between “800 miles across, both ways,… Read more…
Retro-Change-O
Sometimes people who are cruel to small animals are accused of being psychopaths. What do you call the person who abuses radishes?
Factorial Layered Networks (NSFW)
I have recently been exploring line drawings of discrete factorial layered networks with limitless applications, and some exciting corollaries. The basic concept involves drawing vertices on a piece of paper and connecting them with line segments in such a way that… Read more…
Time Waits for Just About Anyone
The bartender says, “We don’t serve tachyons here.” A tachyon walks into a bar. Physicists have discovered either how to accelerate time in the environment as it relates to an observer, or pull information in from relativistically future-initial sources, as… Read more…
Whatever Floats Your Boat
Ctrl + F > “sin” > Replace with > “turn on.” ∴ Transgressions against God are a turn on. Unfortunately, turn on(90) = 1.
Dividual Hypothesis
If a person was cut into little pieces, could the person then collect multiple disability checks? Say, for example, I got cut in half and both halves survived thanks to resuscitation. Would I get two payouts, one for each half?… Read more…
Reap What You Know (NSFW)
What are the numbers for the monthly Cheeto harvest? Have we run out of styrofoam waste product yet? If we’re low on powdered cheese it’s not the end of the world. Just send out the nanobots to harvest it from… Read more…
Infixed It!
Infixing is the term for the insertion of semantic morphemes within words, with, “Fanfuckingtastic,” “Absofuckinglutely,” and, “Unfuckingbelievable,” being three of the only instances of this rare phenomenon that have been documented in the English language. When dealing with multiple versions of a story, as being related… Read more…
Charybdal Stone/Dissociative Disorder
Which is harder to deal with? “Doesn’t look like it’s you, but it’s you.” “Looks like it’s you, but it isn’t you.”
Inherent Virtue
In his dialogue with Laches, Socrates attempts to overcome a pedagogical dillema. He is asked by a friend to train a student in the finer points of virtue. But can someone really teach another person to be virtuous? Socrates makes… Read more…
Geometry is Flippin’ Sweet
Using necessity and universality to explain the physical world can be problematic. Universality is founded on an individual’s experiences over multiple instances. For example, a naturalist may observe a colony of squirrels on multiple occasions. Each time the squirrels are… Read more…
Irrational Numbers Are Stupid and Do Not Exist
In this post, I will be making the claim that all numbers are rational. Please excuse the math, and try to follow along if you can. Without further ado, let us examine this idea further. 1 is rational. .5 is… Read more…