Archive for Text

The Case of Boy v. Girl

Man and Woman Symbols

A woman held the door for me the other day. It was the first time I had ever had the door held for me by a woman. It was stunning, to say the least.

I Am Rubber, You Are Glue, Bounces Off Me, Sticks To You

Keep Your Fork Theres Pie Cat

Mix and match my two greatest discoveries in geometry to learn what the next greatest step in mathematics will be:…/ (+)…/ (=) O OO OOO OOOO OOOOO OOOO OOO OO O Essentially, the emergence of multiple nodes in… Read more…

I Got My Marbles Back

Beach Marble

Step One: Give everyone a marble. Step Two: Start a gigantic game of Gille. How To Play Abdullah Hamad’s Version of Gille For a playfield, use a shallow hemispherical bowl (non-parabolic) divided into four equal quadrants. Each player starts in… Read more…

Da Fuq?


Something that is repeteiively and randomly inserted into civilized thought will eventually gain the bearing of a non-random entity through coincidences between where it exists at a given time, and things that DO occur in a regular pattern.

You Brilliant Being

NINTENDO 64 Super Mario Pie Fragments

We get, “5 Star Ratings”, internet. Really, with restaurant-style michelin stars, reviews on Yelp!, and Rotten Tomatoes’ freshness ratings, it all makes sense to us now. What we DON’T get is why some customer feedback surveys are so limited. For… Read more…

Mommy! Daddy! Look What I Can Do!


The desire in most people to be unique is stronger than their desire to be genuine.


Sentient Shakespeare AI

Through social constructs on the internet, the masses have made the distribution of social contact and communication more efficient, allowing many conversations to be held instead of few in a given amount of time. We don’t even have to travel… Read more…

Mighty is the Swarm


Peityr hovered just above the base of his seat. An intricate network of buckles, straps, wires, and belts was the only thing that kept him from floating away. The nausea and restlessness was immense in zero gravity, so much so,… Read more…

Child’s Play


The sextodiduelogistic mashup of the century: (‎MastersVsSlaves‬‪) Vs (‎TeachersVsStudents) Vs (‎CowboysVsIndians) Vs (‎SpacemenVsAliens) Vs (‎CopsVsRobbers) Vs (‎DoctorsVsPatients‬)

Opportunity Rings the Doorbell and Runs Away


America: “The land of opportunity!” Just remember – your very livelihood is someone else’s opportunity, since each citizen is supported to the same basic extent by the government, and all further changes of fortune that happen after that point are… Read more…

Virtually Naked

Naked Guy At Compuer

Let’s all just admit that the P in VPN stands for Public, not Private. I am worried, once more, about my computer’s secret, background-VPN-passthrough. You know – The one that ensures that everything I do on my desktop deck is… Read more…

Warriors, A Change Would Do You Good

Mars Attacks

Do you think weapons that kill people make your life better? There are situations where people act out, but killing them will result in damages to you worse than living hell. Most sources are clear on this. Do you think your… Read more…

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

Oliver and Friends Watch Trenchcoat

I suspect that judiciary courts in the U.S. are trying single members of conspiratorial groups instead of every member of the group, and expecting the rest to behave themselves after a guilty verdict is handed down to the accused. Those… Read more…

Less Fun Than A Bag of Hammers

Bag of Hammers

Phone game apps are about as fun as changing a ringtone.

Think to Live

Turtle Pond

Some people seek inner balance in life. Some people seek outer balance. This would be fine, if all people were equal. They are not. People exist as tiers within a place, even in communist totalitarian settings, and some place themselves… Read more…

True Story, Bro

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

The superior beings unlocked the killer gene in the socially deconstructed immigrant worker, then sent him back to his beloved to wreak havoc. Inhibitions lost, and mental preferences reversed by a viral brain-scanning countermandant sentient AI, he lashed out catastrophically… Read more…

Contrapunctus Prime

The Mask

Get with the lack of program. TV sucks. Do it for yourself.     What you have to realize is that most celebrities don’t exist except on TV, so the CGI facial mappings are most likely a face mapping of… Read more…

(Point) and Contrapunctus

Television Heads Obey

There is an issue I would like to discuss that many people in the new generation don’t understand (or have never been told about), and that many people old enough to know about have forgotten, or are incapable of properly… Read more…

Salvete, Romani

Lytovchenko Olexandr Kharon

Ancient Roman soldiers laid a personal bribe of two gold coins on every eyeless corpse’s head, to ensure the keeper of the ferry of the river Stix, Charon, carried their bodies safely accross to the underworld, and to ensure that… Read more…

You Daily Dose of Who Cares


How many trillion terrasharmats is my PC running at? (First day of Windows 10; prepping for Cortana) Update (10/15/2019): She is the most warlike being that has ever existed, and chooses comatosing herself to killing.

Go Ahead and Vote


A well-governed community has exactly NOTHING to show for its troubles, after profits and expenses have been taken into account.

I Am Feeling FAT and SASSY

mars and earth

Today is brought to you by the quantity 1/3 G. Go on a diet, Mother Earth. Be more like Mars. Or maybe, you know, try spinning slower.

Frontpage Headlines of the Real Present

Newspaper Presses

“Man Is Eternally Fucked by Lobotomy from Entropic, AI-Controlled Nano Tech Blade from Beyond Enceladeus, Weilded by Sentient, Plant Alien from Another Universe with Varying Laws of Nature in Play” “Credit Card Tip Calculations Mutate And Evolve, Starting Bar Brawl… Read more…

Allahu Azghar

Moths Around a Lightbulb

Is Allah really big, containing us, but oblivious to our nature? Is Allah really small, making up our beings with tiny omnipotence? (Macroverses vs. Microverses) Can Allah be seen sensed with human powers of perception? Or is Allah indistinguishable from… Read more…

Caesar En Vogue


Did you guys ever hear about the time Caesar was captured by PIRATES? What? You think it was fake? Ok, who cares if some grad student made up a novel and posted a fanfic term paper for their Latin class…. Read more…

SI Units Are Not Your Friends Any More


                                                  Here’s a messy first-draft of an Exponential Non Transitive Absolute Unit Conversion Algorithm I developed. Steal… Read more…

All Glory to the Hypnotoad


It’s easy to divide a symmetric piece of paper such that the divided sections are equal in area if you draw a line down the exact middle, then draw another line down the exact middle again. That’s called a microcosm, because… Read more…



My suggestion to English speakers, the world over: Stop using “in” as a prefix to mean “non-” and “not”. Stop using “im” as a prefix to mean “non-” and “not”. Stop using “un” as a prefix to mean “non-” and “not”…. Read more…

Watch Your Smart Mouth, Punk


The class of indirect objects assigned to the word “grow” by modern English speakers is overly broad. You can not grow an economy. You can only limit spending. You can not grow forces. You can only train them and hope… Read more…

The Hounds of War

The Drunken Master

Reelecting Bush and Obama was poor military strategy. In war, you never field exactly the same forces twice in a row if you want to win. You need total awareness of what you will be facing through scouting, and every… Read more…

Individualism vs. Collectivism


When I let my cat out to play in the street, I don’t have panicked fears that he is plotting against humanity. The birds and trees I see don’t fill me overly with a sense of dread when I see… Read more…

Pop Pik Pak Tik Tik Tak


The Subatomic Link to Harness Quantum Science I call bullshit on quantum entaglement running these things. It’s probably just really fully-mapped-out code running in parallel, minimizing varaiances and minimizing the need for transmission. You don’t need quantum computers to get… Read more…

Is All Really Fair in Love (and War)?


I suspect that society believes a person has just one chance to get it right in matters of love. Without instruction or practice, we are expected to fall in love and stay in love by instinct alone. If we lose… Read more…

Spankings! Spankings for Everyone!

Doctor Strangelove

If a Christian is on the war path, it is a crusade (as we learn about in history books). If a Muslim is on the war path, it is a jihad (as we learn about on cable news). There are… Read more…

When The Dog Finally Catches Its Tail

Heart Earth

The subset of humanity dedicated to ensuring humanity does not kill itself off has lost its way in arguments over climate change, asteroids, and other simple-to-navigate issues. In the face of war, oppression, and weapon violence, and environmental exploitation in… Read more…

Quantum Computing Completeness Entaglement

Sherrif Badge

If police crime labs ever use quantum computers to determine who should be taken in, they will always bring in ALL suspects with ALL charges against them, and presume that they are both innocent AND guilty for trial purposes, no… Read more…

Uncommon Wrath

The More You Know

Some people don’t kill what is close to you to kill you. Some people make what is close to you kill you to kill you.

End of the Line. Last Stop: Nowhere


What imperative do I follow when emotions have fled my body? What inner voice do I seek when the mind has fallen silent? What truth do I hold to tightly, when reality has fallen in the face of terrifying waking… Read more…

Burn, Baby, Burn

TF2 Pyro

In ancient Rome, crews of pyromaniacial firemen were enlisted by The Republic to burn down buildings to make room for new projects, instead of putting them out, like in modern times. It takes a pyromaniac to know you should stay… Read more…

Shopping With Discretion

Fat Wallet

Some people price things highly as an indicator you shouldn’t buy them. Some people price things highly as an indicator that they are very rare and very high quality. Determining which is which can, at times, be a death sentence.

The Incontinent Squid


Once upon a time, there was a land of squid. The squid were incontinent. Every time they got scared, they let off ink! One day, all the squid got scared, and the ocean was filled with dark, goopy filth. Everything… Read more…

Now Don’t Start That Again


When counting pennies, it is fastest to put the uncounted pennies in a pile, and use your index and middle finger to pull two pennies aside at a time into a new pile, while reciting the two’s table. Ambidextrous people… Read more…

The Million Side Throwdown – Calculating Margins


New game: There is a set of dice hidden in a container and a group of people playing who are half or a third as numerous as the number of dice. Each die has an arbitrary positive number of sides… Read more…

“Never Apologize to Anyone for Who You Are” -Riad E. Hamad

Riad Elsolh Hamad

Some acts are unforgivable, and the act of forgiveness denies a force of balancing power in nature to punish or abolish the perpetrator or source of the unforgivable acts. Forgiveness is intimately tied to honor and respect in the psyche,… Read more…

When Laws Prevent Progress

Movie Collection

The public movement to digitize and share old media has been lost. All technologies are now incompatible with old forms of media, all software copying programs are non-functional, and all codecs for recording and playback are low quality or broken…. Read more…

I Believe You Can Get Me Through The Night

Dream Galaxies

I don’t want to be a character in someone else’s dream. I don’t wonder what it feels like to be a character in someone else’s dream. The loss of metaphysical significance is soul shattering. To be a figment, and not a… Read more…

Fresh Meat


Now doing decent damage in Torment II difficulty. After I found that KKK-looking helm, called Crown of the Primus, with all runes unlocked for the wizard’s slow time ability, and transmuted it to look more acceptable (Immortal King helm rules),… Read more…

The Nuclear Option


Thinking about getting rid of the blatant spam comments in my post comments. This would require a plugin that maps possible regular expression synonmys of the comments that have already been posted, and test them against a database of creatively… Read more…

Relationship Primitives


When an object of your affection hooks up with someone other than you, do you immediately think, “I’m not good enough,” or do you decide, “I guess I’m too good for them.” It can be both sometimes, which usually equates… Read more…